My husband is self-employed and works from home. Because his business is web development, he rarely has to meet with clients face-to-face. This means he is home about 97% of the time. Initially I thought this would drive me crazy, but I actually love having a husband who is so available. I feel sad for couples who barely see one another and can’t communicate during the day because of their work environments. With that said, I wasn’t in tears when Isaac planned an overnight business trip.
Back when I was unmarried and living solo, Caitlin and I were catching up via g-chat while she was in some far-off city for work. I remember asking her how her husband was spending his evening all alone. Her response was, “Probably sleeping in the middle of the bed.†At the time I thought the comment was funny, but now that I’ve slept in the same bed with another person every night for the past 7 month, Caitlin’s words have a whole new meaning. When Isaac told me of his overnight business trip my first thought was, “I can’t wait to sleep in the middle of the bed!â€
I blogged about Single Person Behaviors shortly after Isaac and I moved in together. (This was also the last time Isaac was out of town without me.) I don’t miss my single life, but there will always be things I enjoy doing or appreciate more when I’m allll alone. So with my husband gone for the night, here is how I spent my precious time to myself…
1. I set the thermostat to my preferred temperature. Isaac is usually cold and I’m hot—it a timeless argument. When considering someone as a potential life partner, why don’t we ever ask about indoor temperature preferences??? So important.
2. Not very glamorous, but I took care of some paperwork. Not having to coordinate with another person freed me up to do other things…like work. Woo hoo.
3. I slipped into something more comfortable. And by more comfortable I mean ratty flannel pants, an oversized t-shirt, and mismatched socks. Very sexy.
4. I had oatmeal for dinner with a cranberry-pomegranate cocktail. Isaac fusses at me when I don’t have a “proper dinner†and when I drink on school nights. Whatever, I do what I want!
5. I ate the rest of Isaac’s chocolate. Every weekend I celebrate by buying chocolate. Since I’m a chocolate eating fool I have to buy Isaac his own personal bar. My chocolate bar is typically consumed the day it is purchased. (I was totally that kid who ate all their Halloween candy immediately and then had nothing to trade.) Isaac taunts me by savoring his chocolate throughout the weekend and into the next week. It makes me resent him just a little. My next thought after “I can’t wait to sleep in the middle of the bed†was “I can’t wait to eat Isaac’s chocolate.â€
That will teach him to leave me home alone. 
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I totally get what you’re talking about! Been married 2 1/2 years and every time I have a night alone at home I do all the things I don’t do with my husband around. Like single days!
Ahaha!! This is awesome… I can so relate to this even if I’m single 🙂
Funny! I am kind of the opposite and used to Greg being away so much that I alter my routine MORE when he’s home than when he’s away. Also, I don’t move much when I sleep, so I actually stay on my side even when he’s not there. I sometimes think it’s harder to sleep with him home than away because he snores, moves, and gets up in the night, which disturbs my sleep. I guess it’s just whatever you are used to!
I absolutely adore this post. These are all things I totally relish in doing while Brad is gone too. And we also love to tell each other, “Whatever. I do what I want,” all the time.
It’s so scandalous of you to have oatmeal for dinner. 😉 I love not having proper dinners once in a while! It’s a nice break.
My husband works overnights several days a week and I love sleeping in the middle of the bed. Our 60 lb dog sleeps in the bed too, so it’s really nice when my husband isn’t there. Ha. I guess I should probably try to kick the dog out of the bed before my husband!
HA It’s so funny that you ate his chocolate! Hope you buy him a new bar before he gets home 🙂 My fiance comes to bed usually about 4 hours after me, so I get to spend half the night sleeping in the middle of the bed. When he’s not home I like to watch all the really trashy stuff on tv that I don’t really want him to know that I secretly like. Teen Mom 2? Oh yes. So embarrassing.
FREEDOM!!! It’s fantastic. I also work from home as a web developer, and with 2 kids it’s really nice for me to be there for them. But I also never get time with my friends anymore or any time to myself that I used to get while driving home from the office.
This post hits close to home. Yesterday my wife took the kids to Myrtle Beach for the rest of the week, so I am totally loving my home freedom right now. It doesn’t happen very often, maybe once a year. and I love it. Kelley comes back to Raleigh on friday, but the kids are going to her mom’s for all of next week. So even the freedom you get while the kids are at Grandma’s and you get to stay at home is incredible.
Just wait until you have kids. You never considered the ability to go the grocery store by yourself as a luxury or “alone time” until it gets taken away for months at a time.
Love! LOL.
I sleep all the way on my husband’s side of the bed when he’s gone! I’m not a middle-of-the-bed kind of person, and if I sleep on my side, I notice the empty spot too much. 🙁 And then I usually oversleep, because he usually drags me out of bed after I’ve hit snooze too many times.
I also watch awful cheesy chick flicks and make food he doesn’t like for dinner. 🙂
Soooo funny! My partner actually works evenings during the week so I find myself on my own 🙁
I usually take advantage of his absence to work out in the living room (without him making comments and poking fun at me), to watch TV Shows he doesn’t let me watch when he’s here.. Sometimes, I also eat his chocolate too haha
I LOVE the south park reference, “whatever, I do whatever I want!” and I TOTALLY agree that pre-martial counseling should start with the question, “what is your prefered inside temperature?” YAY for 64 degrees!
It is funny how much I can relate to this post. As someone who did the long-distance relationship thing for years and years, I definitely value my freedom and alone time. Michael travels quite a bit, which give me the same opportunities you mentioned–eating cereal for dinner, turning down the thermostat, watching trashy tv, etc. My cat is glad to have me to herself in the middle of the bed–she cuddles up to me and purrs all night 🙂
yes! my (now) fiance and i did the LDR thing for 2 years before we got engaged and he moved to my city. i very much love living with him and spending so much time with him but i sometimes (briefly) miss those friday evenings when i could watch say yes to the dress on TLC, or some ridiculous movie on netflix like justin bieber. in the end, though, i’d much rather have the time with my fiance all the time than to have him halfway across the country.
I totally can relate to this!! My husband is gone tonight and I’m wearing sweats, slippers and a t-shirt and ate greek yogart and a bag of popcorn for dinner! I also used hair removal cream on my upper lip – I DO NOT do that when he is home! As much as I adore and love my hubby, I love my solo time too!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I usually stay on my side of the bed if my husband’s only gone for one night, but if he’s gone for longer, I find myself moving closer to the center each night. I also eat a lot of junk food, watch trashy TV, and stay up way too late when he’s gone. I act like a rebellious child, in other words!
When my husband is gone, his side of the bed has two Labradors and a cat. I get to watch whatever I want on TV and eat whatever I want. After a day or two, I miss him. We have been married 20 years this year (dang, I’m OLD).
Husband-less time for me means something all-too-easy for dinner (I’ve totally rocked the oatmeal before, but there was that one time during PMS I had a bag of popcorn and a slab of dark chocolate) and then BLASTING the stereo and dancing like a madwoman in the living room. 🙂
You young whippersnappers have so much to learn.
The man NEVER gets a whole half of the bed. I think it’s one of the Commandments. They’re fortunate we let them sleep on the edge. Truthfully, sometimes Johnny has to sleep with one hand on the floor to keep from being pushed out.
There’s no such thing as saving chocolate. Whatever chocolate is in the house is there for eating. If a person puts that said chocolate bar down it’s up for grabs. That may be a Commandment too. I’ll look it up. Be aware that this goes both ways though. So if you have a brief crazy moment where you’re thinking of putting down that chocolate candy you better make sure the love of your life isn’t watching.
And if you have questions about the regulation of home temperatures ask Aunt Debbie. Uncle Ray sleeps in a toboggan and mittens. This is an actual fact Nicole.
After been married over 20 years I want to have a duplex he lives on one side I live on the other. I love my own space and time. i wish he would travel more so I could do my own thing.After our kids are gone to university i am having my own bedroom. See how you feel having your husband home after being married 10 or more years.