Intentions Are The New Resolutions

Anybody else over the lists of New Years resolutions? I sure am. But I have to confess to feeling more irritated than is healthy by reading other people’s resolutions. Once I admitted that my irritation was a bit irrational, I connected the dots and realized that I view resolutions as nothing but unwelcome pressure. Creating specific and measurable goals are very motivating for some, but for me, they are stifling. It’s not that I don’t consider changes I’d like to make in the new year, but the thought of writing a list of goals is not motivating. As someone who works everyday to help others make life changes, I’m constantly thinking about who I am, who I’d like to be, and how to make that happen. But one thing I’ve learned by helping others is A. change is a process and B. everyone has a different process. Determining and accepting the approach to change that best suits each individual is really, in my opinion, the most important (and difficult) part of change.

As I’ve said before, I consider myself a lazy perfectionist. Along with this personality type comes a desire to introspect and self-improve, but the path to change cannot contain a string of rigid steps. For many years I thought that my tendency to buck against concrete goals meant I should set no goals. But let’s face it,  it is impossible to completely avoid setting goals—we do it everyday. Since neurotically analyzing this whole “New Years Resolution” bullshit I’ve accepted that I do make resolutions, but in the form of intentions.

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In my mind intentions differ from resolutions in that they are broader and create a framework instead of a step-by-step plan. I love the idea of a framework because the perfectionist in me must have some structure in order to thrive. But a framework does not lay out all the detailed steps. Again, I love this because the lazy part of me can come up the steps when I want, how I want. Doesn’t it sounds like I also have a commitment issue?? This is probably true. I just hate feeling tied down and want the option to change my mind without feeling that I’m abandoning my goals. (When I write all this crap down I feel like such a nutcase!)

My other reason for preferring intentions is that resolutions always seem so finite: lose 10 pounds, run a marathon, save $5000, etc… These typical types of resolutions have an end point that doesn’t necessarily beget enduring change. With intentions there isn’t always a concrete endpoint. This forces me to continually assess my progress and adjust my mindset or behaviors to fit the given intention. It seems to result in lasting change for me. Or at least I get closer to lasting change.

So there you go, my long, drawn out over-analysis of New Years resolutions. And if you’ve read this far I owe you a few of my 2012 intentions:

1. Increase mindful practices.

2. Continue building a healthy marriage.

3. Cultivate wealth.

4. Build personal strengths and improve self-acceptance.

I look forward to spending the next 364 days exploring ways to create the above changes in my life. And I think I need to add “get a cat” to this list!

Tagged as: intentions 2012, new years resolution 2012